Transformers Revenge of the Fallen WTH?

I will start this with compliments. Michael Bay is a gift for all of us action loving movie goers. I pray that he’ll one day work with me! What a team we’ll be! It’s a shame that the writers (Ehren Kruger, Roberto orci, Alex Kurtzman) of the film are perhaps what made this film be about 8-10 scenes away from awesome. I occasionally furrowed my brow thinking what the hell? or oh my god with a little eye roll.

I am not sure the name of this critic I stumbled upon on the News on ABC, but I recall him saying he felt he was being hit over the head with a  baseball bat while he was watching the movie. At first I went how is that possible? It’s Transformers,..  But once I sat down and about an hour and ten minutes into it I went wow, I get what he was saying. I wasn’t sure if I was watching Superbad or some Adam Sandler flick or if I was watching Transformers. I forgot. I didn’t see very many Transformers it was humans acting as a ‘primitive race’ just as Optimus Prime had mentioned in the last film.  Don’t freak out, i’m a young one and I’m aware that the reason they used an actor like Shia Lebouf and wrote the character the way that had is because he represents the guy with the greatest fears about themselves. and that the everyday classified dork or loser can be a hero. Shia Lebouf…I will return to him soon. But the movie was long and I wouldn’t complain if for the first hour and a ten or so minutes hadn’t felt wasted.  There was way to much screen time for humans and it consisted of mainly ridiculous humor, bad-acting and a few overexposed humans, a bunch of sexy close ups topped with a bunch of irritating cliche’s .

The good news for the humans is Shia Lebouf is a fine actor, gifted. I truly feel he’s now grown past this Transformer’s franchise. As it didn’t live up to the first.  They tossed in this Leo character played by Ramon Rodriguez. However, this character got on my nerves. It felt as though they were trying to write in another guy to try to compliment Shia Lebouf’s laid back humor that so many have grown to love. Although Leo had one or two moments I laughed lightly I honestly wished he wasn’t on screen most of the time.  Truly complimenting Shia Lebouf were Josh Duhman, Tyrese Gibson along with the other group of soldiers and government operatives. I think those were my favorite scenes, I was tossed into the chaos of war. I felt those few scenes. It’s a shame there wasn’t more of them.

If it was not for Michael Bay’s brilliant shots and incredible layouts of explosions and keeping all of the action shots, 100% action in every corner of the screen. I would have walked out after I had felt my hour and a half of life was wasted as well as my ten dollars. (I should have waited to rent it)  I dream of Michael Bay teaming up with a screenwriter that’s as brilliant as he is. We’ll see what happens… a strong story line, some comedy and some incredible action sequences.

Sean Gandert quote: “…a bad teen comedy played up for cheap laughs that seems to drag on and on due to its formulaic nature. Will the geeky yet likable teen guy end up with the troubled yet gorgeous teen girl? Yes, yes he will. There’s also a magical sentient car that helps the couple get together. Now you can grab the opening action sequence and then skip out for a 30-minute coffee break without missing anything.”

He is right. You could walk out of the movie come back and not feel like you were lost as the first hour and a half was a long long long bad teen comedy. And I can’t figure out why the movie was called Transformers. As they were in 15% of the movie and the whole war going on seemed somewhere lost in the background appearing occasionally in between our traveling through a teen comedy. How’s that work? The movie could have been amazing with Michael Bays genius camera movements and cutting, but it becomes nothing to me as the movie had way to many flaws for me to walk away in complete awe. There were a few brilliant performances that were completely overshadowed as the movies crap covered right over it.

Mike Abundo quote “Humans get more screen time in this movie than they do in the entire original series — and their acting consists mostly of making hero faces and sexy poses for gratuitous closeups.” Wow, how right is he!!  Hell, look at the poster, you see Transformers! But the movie starts and they’re no where to be found. Who knows what they’re doing. However, Mikayla is outside of Sam’s garage undressing with flowers for him as he heads of to college. Sam’s soon stalked by some hot terminator wannabe who’s wearing some expensive panties (as I got a clear view),  some irritating geek is Sam’s roommate and of course get’s caught up in the

storm. Now for all those great autobots, and the war coming…who knows what’s going on with that.

Links:

http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2007/07/transformers.html

<—Now this poster gets it right. A whole lot of ‘ass,’  cheap comedy, loads of cliches and good cg.